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Incredible Woman


Bonita Miller

I know one incredible woman, and it's my mom. It is Mother's day weekend, and here I am writing an update about my mom on a ventilator fighting for her life after Covid. As our journey continues, I have realized that my mom's updates are all in perspective. Ray, my step-dad, and Brenna, my sister, communicate our feelings differently. Our differences in how we grieve, not talking to mom, managing our daily lives, and keeping our sanity with the possibility of losing someone that bridges our family together has been the hardest challenge we have faced together. Talking to doctors, nurses and reading articles, there is no positive outcome with science other than Covid ending in a miracle from God. I can go into her numbers, tell you how bad her lungs are, how long she has been on a ventilator, and tell you what we think the next step is, but the truth is we have no answers.

The numbers are just numbers. At any moment, the numbers can change. Two steps forward and three steps back. The most important blessing from God that I started fully understanding with my mom's illness is how walking by FAITH "truly" feels. The doctors say they have done everything they can do, so we have completely put her in God's hands. This revelation does not stop me from cheering her on and fighting till the end. The doctors are not stopping their medical attention. She makes improvements every day by being alive. A tracheotomy is on the table next to give her face a break and let her lungs heal differently; this is a common next step. The beginning of the ventilator started her life fight, so this is not scarier to us.

My mom has overcome so many life challenges. I told the doctor she was like a cat with nine lives; I just don't know if this is her number nine? The best way to let you know how she is doing is by telling you where I am with God. I posted a story on my Facebook page of a man who spent over 100 days fighting Covid. His wife happens to be a friend of my sister. On Thursday morning, April 6, I asked my sister to call her friend to see if I could speak with her step-mom because we needed her strength. I was able to get in touch with her, and she told me her husband's story and not to give up hope. She prayed over my family and me, and she was the perfect blessing from God that I needed so that we could decide as a family that day on how to proceed with mom. Then, on Friday, April 7, I had to reschedule my appointment with Closets by Design. I started a conversation about how I might have to cancel again because my mom was currently in ICU, and every day could be the day that she does not make it. This lady happens to have an uncle who just overcame Covid. He went into the hospital back in December 2020 and just walked out two weeks ago. I felt God confirming again not to give up hope with these two almost identical stories back to back. I am at peace with God's will because I know He will work all things for our GOOD!

My mom has an underlining condition that started with RA, Lupus, then non-Hodgkins lymphoma, and she was in a car wreck two years ago. Covid itself brings its own added conditions, which makes this virus twice as bad. I told the doctors that if I lose my mom or she lives, I want to learn something that will help the future of medicine and families overcome and deal with a family member or friend fighting Covid. I think it is true to say that there should be a support group for COVID, not just for the patients but also for the loved ones standing by fighting and supporting them.




bonita miller
Bonita Miller




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First Buckwell Family Photo

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Bonita and Betina